Legos and Sidekicks: Train your Brain for Abundance

It’s been a Lego year at our house. Why? That’s a different and longer story but let’s just say my youngest and I have been OBSESSED.

As I have been painstakingly (and frustratingly) assembling my beloved R2D2 (1000 pieces for ages 10 and up my A$$) I have been thinking about sidekicks.

Have you ever given the sidekicks any thought?  R2 is my all-time favorite sidekick. What would Star Wars be without R2D2?  He’s fun, funny, bold and sassy, always there when needed. The perfect sidekick. And what about Disney movies? My favorite Disney movies would be meh without sidekick humor. Imagine Little Mermaid without Sebastion or Mulan without Mushu. Even Iago, despite his evil namesake, brings levity to Alladin -not easy to do when Robin Williams is in the house. When my youngest was pre-school age she was my sidekick. I clearly remember when she went to kindergarten. I arrived at my Friday morning Al-Anon meeting without her. One of the ladies asked, “Where is your sidekick?”  I burst into tears. Sidekicks bring humor, comfort, familiarity, and even a sense of safety (think about your dog as I write this 😊).

Now that my children are grown and I’m not someone who brings my dog everywhere, my main sidekick is MY brain. And as luck would have it, the brain, as many of you know, has a negativity bias. She’s always trying to protect me, keep me safe. Sure, she is funny and can be fun. But sometimes she is downright terrified of life, change, and trying something new. My current sidekick carries all the wisdom of the itty-bitty shitty committee of old.

In 2025, my sidekick is Grace (more to come on that topic!). I’m deliberately adding thoughts to my brain to counteract the ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts). I want a brain that sees the cup as half-full and BELIEVES in abundance.

Here is a practice for you. I invite you to join me on a quest for a sidekick who notices what is best for me.

Thought Work Practice

• BREATHE: Before attempting to change, well, anything, come from a place of regulation. That is, your nervous system feels safe. Any breath work will do. A deep, belly breath, in through your nose, mouth closed, soft belly. I’m a fan of 4-7-8: Four breaths in, hold for 7, 8 breaths out. Don’t like breathwork? That’s OK. Take a walk. Pet your dog. Heck, do some Legos (as if that’s relaxing 😉).

• NOTICE: Become aware of the common ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) that run the show that is YOUR life. Thoughts we think repeatedly become our beliefs. These beliefs most likely came from SOMEONE ELSE. Notice. A thought I held onto for a long time after I became a coach was, “I’m not as good as Kathryn.”  Kathryn was my very first coach. She coached me through EVERYTHING. I just finished a package with her AGAIN in 2024. She’s my go-to. And I had her UP on a pedestal. This thought was an extension of other “I’m not as good as….”  thoughts that have plagued my life. Growing up with alcoholism will do that to you. When I told her this, she almost laughed. Not quite, as she is a professional and would never laugh at my pain. This was a MOMENT for me.

• EXERCISE ACCEPTANCE: This was hard! Accepting that thoughts, no matter how judgmental, sexist, or prejudicial, are in my brain. Having thoughts in my brain doesn’t make them true or right. It doesn’t make them useful or helpful. It just makes them THERE. Accepting that unsavory thoughts reside in every brain on this planet is our work. Deciding not to make them mean anything is THE WORK. Don’t skip this step!  So here it was, AGAIN, this “Not good enough” thought. I’ve seen this one before. It has come in many forms. I wrote it down, looked, and decided that my brain would probably continue to offer me these, “not good enough” thoughts. I accept that the thoughts come up. I DO NOT accept that because they come up, they are true.  Acceptance takes time, patience, and a willingness to examine beliefs without judgment.

• TAKE ACTION: Once I’ve accepted that I have been thinking, “I’m not as good as Kathryn” I ask myself, “How is this thought UNTRUE?”  Then I write….all the reasons that thought is JUST NOT TRUE. Lucky for me I have some amazing clients who laugh when I check in, “How is it going? Is this helping? Is there more you need from me?” They just laugh at me. Getting rid of the itty-bitty shitty committee is a lifetime job.

• DECIDE: Now, if the thought comes up, I notice it and then think, “I’m a good coach.” It was hard at first. Most of us, to change our thoughts, want the evidence FIRST. But thoughts LEAD to actions that CREATE the evidence. Want to change something about your life? THOUGHTS come first. NOT EVIDENCE. NOW I have evidence to support this thought: “I’m a good coach.”  BEFORE I had clients, I needed to change the thought that I wasn’t “As good as.”

Changing beliefs and thoughts takes time and perseverance.

Be kind to yourself.

“There is no try, only do.” – Master Yoda