Are you Done Yet?

I was talking to a girlfriend the other day. She was preparing to go away, ALONE with her HUSBAND, no kids! Whaatt?? So excited for her. But the kids are small, and it was the first time she was leaving them for longer than overnight. She was understandably anxious and frazzled and said, “I have so much to get done.”

Done. What does that even mean? Done.

Webster says:

But what do we hope to achieve by being DONE?

Is the laundry ever done? Think about it. Even if the bins are empty and everything is put away, unless you are naked right now (and good for you if you are!), then you are wearing something that needs to be washed. You are making laundry for yourself. 😊

How about the dishes? Are they done? The dishwasher is empty and everything is put away. But you know there is a cup party in someone’s room (if you have teenagers, it’s probably more than cups and ICK). There is a wine glass set aside to be hand washed or a forgotten Tupperware in your lunch box. NOT DONE.

What else? Groceries? Cleaning….my nemesis, WEEDING. The weeding is NEVER done. I know those things are growing AS I’M WRITING. Weeds make me miss winter.

Sound bleak? If  “it’s” never DONE then what?

Well, I suggest you ask yourself,

“When I’m DONE, what is the feeling?”

See, you don’t REALLY care about the dishes or the laundry or the weeds (I definitely DO NOT care about WEEDS), what you want is a feeling.

1. Ask the question, “The last time I felt DONE, what was that feeling?”

2. Get curious:  Name the feeling. Locate it in your body. Does it have a color? Texture? Movement?

3. Why is this feeling important to me? Maybe it’s a feeling of accomplishment. Maybe you are frustrated in other areas of your life so cleaning or laundry or weeds helps you feel seen or successful. This is a chance for you to get curious about what makes YOU TICK.

4. Then, once you have identified the feeling, what THOUGHT is RIGHT BEFORE IT. Realize you can think that thought ANY TIME you want.  You don’t NEED to be DONE with laundry or weeds. You can just be DONE with thinking you are less than, or not successful or disorganized. There is a sneaky thought someplace in your brain that is preventing you from that feeling of DONE.

These thoughts are often so rote, so common that we don’t even realize that:

1. It’s not true and

2. We can change them

Thoughts are NOT like eye color or height. Thoughts are malleable. Sometimes thoughts are handed down to us like eye color, and we don’t even know it. Where did you get the idea that you can’t go on vacation until everything is done? Why do you NEED to clean the sink or the kitchen or wash the floor BEFORE you get to have fun? Why do you think that just being you, beautiful imperfect you, is not enough??

Someone put those thoughts in your head. And, unlike eye color or height or lactose intolerance, you can change them.

See 1 – 4 above 😊

Seem impossible? Or Improbable. Schedule a call today to find out how POSSIBLE it is!

“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.”

― Lin Yutang, The Importance of Living (Seriously, I always thought Charles Shultz said that 😉)